A Return To Kindness For Myself

In the past few months, I have not been kind to myself. Without realizing it, I have been sabotaging myself on several fronts and it is just now that my body and mind have reached the breaking point. Now, I am not a hippie and I don't hug trees because why would I risk getting bark all over my new cashmere from J. Crew? But, at the same time, I am a firm believer in the idea that the body has ways of displaying the results of too much negative energy and I can say, with reasonable certainty, that over this past week, my body has shown the toll I have taken on it, and my emotions have been utterly taxed.

So it is time for some changes. There's a notion out there that sometimes, in order to be good to somone you love, you have to be an asshole to them, and I have resisted this idea for quite some time but the wisdom behind the phrase has hit me full force. In an effort to finally show myself just how much I really am worth and how much I do deserve, I need to crack down on a few areas in which I have been lax. Previous to now, I have let my standards slip and it's time I start expecting more. I can't continue to settle and expect to be happy because settling will never lead to contentment. I have always held fairly high standards for myself and those around me but in recent months, I've allowed my own standards to fall a bit, in the name of avoiding any difficult situations or hard decisions. But really, isn't that what life is all about - making hard decisions? Taking the easy route leads to a really boring person and I don't want to be boring. Nor do I want to live with any regrets and I feel like the current path I am on has got "REGRET" written all over it in Neon flashing letters.

So there you go. No worries, the funny isn't going away. You can still expect me to show up dancing in elevators, throwing bricks at my car window, and participating in other inane activities that just seem to make so much damn sense at the time. But you can also expect a better version of me, Redlaw Ver. 2.0, if you will.