I Hit A Mime On The Way To Work....

Actually I didn't but I wish I had because that would be a hell of a lot more interesting than anything that has really happened in my life recently. Besides, you have to wonder, if you hit a mime, does it make a sound? Or does it die silently? Kinda like that "If a tree falls in the forrest..." question, you know?

Anyway, my life has become boring. I blame it on the Mormons. Damn them and their happy peaceful ways.....oh wait, I am one...that's like damning myself, huh? But seriously, it's like an episode of the Stepford Wives around here lately. Only not as interesting since none of these people are actually being killed and turned into robots but how freakin' rad would that be??? Anything would be cooler than sitting here, banging my head against a computer screen, trying to pull anything out of my butt to blog about...and you know, with my butt being so large, there should be plenty in there but alas, I got nothing, nada, zilch.

How is this possible? Drama follows me like a good stalker...has it left my life for greener pastures? Did all the drama finally get tired of the limited amount of material it has to work with around here and head for the hills...literally? I don't want a peaceful life - those are boring!!!! Blogging demands a certain amount of angst and what am I gonna do if I can't deliver? My (two) readers depend on trauma in my life for their entertainment!! I can't let them down! This is horrible! What can I do to get rid of this happiness? This sudden calm and peaceful feeling in my life has got to go! I mean it. Get out, joy. You're not welcome 'round these parts. We only want pain and suffering and really funny embarrassments, got that?